Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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