Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
