Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
