8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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