So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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