About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There's always time for handjobs
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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