Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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