Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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