It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
