Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize