Screwed.edu
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
