just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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