Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
