his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
