I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize