just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
