Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
