carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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