Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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