i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
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