Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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