I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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