exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
