im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
