I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
