i may or may not be watching the land before time
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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