I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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