I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
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You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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