He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
