Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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