She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
