I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize