i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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