Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
