yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
God I need to hump something, right now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
