More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Randomize
