how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
