I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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