just come out here and I will go home with you...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I love you. Go after that dick
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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