i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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