But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
