My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
