susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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