im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
