I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
