Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
