I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize