physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
