Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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