Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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