This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
