I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
