Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
