It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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