suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
