I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
