Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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