I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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