i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
