Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
