I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
